So help me out. At what point do you up and leave when the position you are in it is not how it should, but rather feels like you were manipulated into it and now you have a very unpleasant daily life. From my part i still believe that i might be wrong in some way and that everything is going to work out just fine. Being a masochist that is all i'm doing ^^. Any other situation like this in the past, i would have left right then and there. Is it that i'm getting old? Now you wouldn't call 30 as old but still it is not 20 ;). Anyway. Returning to the subject. Can i find a way for me to be able to destroy the delusions in my head and finally see that it can only get worst and not better. Is it human nature or just me? I wouldn't call it faith. More like stupidity. Still though here i am having second thoughts. Circling around the same thoughts again and again and again. How to brake this awful loop. External push might help but if i'm not willing then who will? I can smell smoke. Don't let me think. It's Dangerous!
