Wounded Dog

I got my ticket to fuck-town. Time to celebrate. Finally free from it. I am officially not able to do most of the things everyone else is doing. I'm so happy! My soul won't stop crying. Everyone now looks at me with that specific way, where they're practically saying "you're now useless and fucked". I look like a wounded dog. Some might say it's better to be put down. Inside i'm screaming. I AM NOT USELESS. I CAN DO MORE. DON'T WRITE ME OFF. I'M NOT DEAD MEAT. I'M STILL ALIVE. I CAN HELP. Who listens? Waiting for a response that will never come. Walking a lonely road. Well, i'm used to it. Being alone ain't a new thing. That look i get from others though. That is indeed unbearable. My anger is frozen by my inability to convince. All i have is a keyboard that feels and understands me. The keyboard is crying... Don't let me thing. It's Dangerous!

Whining

Off to a new start. Off to a new way of thinking. Enough with the old. Bring the new into my life. What the fuck am i saying? I'm always so full of shit! There's nothing new. It's always the same. Only thing gained is the experience. From that alone you can start making new decisions. And right there is the big problem. Ready set Go. Ready set Go. GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Nothing! So optimistic, making these ideas in my head and thinking that this is it. But nothing. No actions! Thinking of what to do and doing what i'm thinking are two different things. I'm too lazy. I'm too afraid. I'm too indifferent. The lies i tell to myself. I'm too busy. I'm too sick. I'm too poor. Even though i do have a huge obstacle in my life and i'm sure you have one of those, does that justify inaction? It's not fair. But it is what it is. Deal with it and stop whining. I'm not saying be great but at least do something. You have an expiration date. Move your ass and start doing things.

PS another attack came as i was writing. So i'll stay here not doing anything. Not moving forward. Whining. Don't let me think. It's Dangerous!

Frustrated

Off we go. Come on. Let's go. We're going to run and run and run. Destination? Unknown! Anywhere that the heartless can't survive. Somewhere without corrupted people. Does a place like that really exist? I hope it does. It's where i want to be. Away from the pain that others cause. Away from the pain that i cause to myself by staying. Why do i stay? I shouldn't be here. Someone out there who can help? No! None! Only i can help myself. It's lonely. Well loneliness is an old friend so i think i'll be alright. It'll be nice though to have company. I don't know. I'm getting old too fast and can't stop the frustrations. Please don't let me think. It's Dangerous!